Summary!

Ok until I get some inspiration my Yaoi story is on hold until further notice. Until then I shall be working on multiple projects staring with this story. Here is the summary ok peeps.!

Trials of Love
Summary


Self Abuse, Torture, Rape, Attempted Suicide, Mental Illness, Medication, and Constant Fear

Have you ever known anyone whose life was completely ruled by these words?
Well that describes what fourteen year old Gabriel’s life is like. She lives in a constant world of pain ever since she was kidnapped, abused, and raped. Since then she has tried to kill herself multiple times and used to constantly cause bodily harm to her self. When it came to a point to where her parents could do nothing about it, they locked her away in a Mental Institution to where she could receive their so called proper treatment. She knew in reality they simply didn’t want to deal with her, so she allowed them to do as they pleased.


It has been two years since Gabriel was locked away in the institution and she is now sixteen years old, her parents have moved her to a new town to where she begins a new life at a new school where no one knows of her tragic past. Unfortunately she happens to meet a wild young man named Kane who has a reputation for being the bad boy rebel of the school and it just so happens he has taken an interest in young Gabriel. Now she must test her strength and see if she can overcome her past in order to trust Kane and hope he can give her a brighter future, the one problem is what will happen when Kane finds out about all of Gabriel’s secrets. Will Kane stay by her side and give her the love and faith she needs to live? Or will he break her and send her life spiraling down a path that will lead to the breaking of her will.


Read and find out what fate has in store for this young couple and what the future holds for their fragile love. Will Kane heal Gabriel or is he the final straw in breaking down her shattered mind?

Ok....here...is seven.....

Sei walked backs towards Himoto’s house as he thought about how he was going to pull off having a girlfriend when he liked boys. “Man I never should have agreed to date her! Now what will I do!?” Turning the key he stepped into the house only to find Himoto sprawled out on the kitchen floor. “Himoto!!” He rushed over and felt that he had a fever so he dragged him upstairs and put him to bed with a cool wash cloth and kept a watch on him till he woke up.

Himoto opened his eyes to the sight of Sei slumped over in the chair beside his bed and it looked as if he’d been there awhile, shaking his head he tried to recall what happened and then he remembered, he’d been upset over Sei and Reyna so he had went to the gym to work out some frustration by running and before he knew it he had ran for two hrs straight and his body was racked with fever due to the exertion and he’d barely made it home before passing out. “Psst! Sei wake up!”

Rubbing his sleepy eyes he saw Himoto was awake now. “Oh you’re awake!! Good now I can get you some food and medicine just hold on.” He stood to leave but he felt a tug on his shirt and looked down to see Himoto holding onto the tail of his shirt. “What’s wrong?”

He dropped his gaze and looked at the floor. “You took care of me?”

Smiling he sat on the bed. “Well yes of course I did I mean we are friends after all.”

He knew that Sei was with Reyna and he knew that it meant breaking his promise but he just couldn’t handle it anymore so taking Sei by the shoulders he pulled him roughly to him and kissed him hard.

Sei had no idea how to react as Himoto pressed his lips to his own but he didn’t need to think because his body took over and he kissed him back with all his might.

He wasn’t sure what reaction he’d been expecting but this sure as hell wasn’t it, moaning he plunged his tongue deep into Sei’s mouth as he deepened the already hot kiss.

He couldn’t control his hand as they slid under Himoto’s shirt and began to rub all over his ripped torso and chest.

Without breaking the dance of tongues he ripped off Sei’s shirt and then finally pulled their lips apart as he began to trail butterfly kisses along the boy’s body all the way up to his neck.

His body burned as if he was on fire at the feel of those lips running along his skin, moaning he ran his fingers through his hair and bit his bottom his lip as his groin began to harden with pleasure.

Pulling back he looked at Sei who looked the part of a lust filled woman, but that thought was like a splash of cold as he realized that Sei was a boy and that he had just broken his promise to him. “Sei?”

Looking up he was horrified to see the look of disgust in Himoto’s eyes and realized he must have still been feverish and thought Sei to be a girl. “Himoto I’m so sorry!”

Sitting up in bed he stared at Sei. “No Sei it’s my fault I must have been out of my mind to have kissed you like that I’m sorry.”

Shaking his head he got off the bed and headed for the door. “No its ok you just need to get some rest for school tomorrow ok?”

He nodded as he covered his mouth with his hand and closed his eyes. “Yea ok that sounds good.”

“Uh well then I’m going to go make dinner then get ready for bed so I’ll see you in the morning unless you need me before that.” Sei gave a half smile before leaving.

Himoto just sat there as he went through the disturbing events again and again. “God I totally fucked that up now didn’t I? He’ll probably think I’m some kind of a freaking freak after all that....Oh well I’ll just have to keep my distance from now on that’s all.” Sighing he laid back down and went straight to sleep.

The next morning Sei was up and out of there before Himoto even woke up, He left him some breakfast on the that’s about it. “I need to stay away from him for awhile.” He got to school and looked around for Reyna knowing he needed to at least act the part of a boyfriend.

Walking through the hall Himoto could only manage to glare at everyone, he was in a foul mood and didn’t care who was on the receiving end of his bitterness. “Damn why did I have to be so damn stupid!?” He was jerked from his thoughts when someone grabbed him from behind.

“Hey honey what’s been up with you lately?” Shimizu asked.

“Oh uh I’ve been busy sorry.” He was really in no mood to put up with her right now.

“Well you better start shaping up cause the word is spreading fats about some guy who is almost better looking than you and all the girls are dying to hook him.” She smiled one of those to sweet to be good smiles.

“Well I’ll be on the lookout ok. Thanks for the heads up darlin.” He kept walking not really caring about some pretty boy taking his top spot.

“Well that’s all I had to say I guess I’ll catch you after school maybe we can hit a movie ok?”

“Yea sure sounds good.” He walked off leaving her standing in the hall, right now he had to figure out how to deal with Sei. “Man this sucks ass.” He was thinking so hard he ran right into someone, looking up he saw A guy about two inches taller than himself with shaggy blonde hair, deep green eyes, and even though he looked skinny you could tell he was packing some serious muscle along with a tattoo and some piercing.

“Hey watch where you’re going you little punk!”

“Hey!” He didn’t get to say a damn word because the asshole turned his head and walked off like Himoto was a piece of garbage not worth his precious time.

Sei sat beside Reyna at the lunch table after looking to make sure Himoto was no where in sight. “Hey Reyna what’s up?”

“Not a lot just stressing over our chemistry test!” She turned in her seat to face Sei and give a kiss on the cheek.

“Well don’t worry too much I’m positive you’ll do just fine on it.” He blushed a bit at the kiss.

“He-he I’m so glad you’re my boyfriend! You are so nice and cute!” She reached over and hugged him tightly.”

He hugged her back before pulling back. “So why not let me help you study some time?”

“That would be cool. Oh Sei did you hear about the new guy at our school?”

“No can’t say that I have.” He spooned a mouthful of food in his mouth as he listened to her.

“Well everyone is saying that he’s a total hottie but he won’t so much as give any girl the time of day and he is way harsh.” She chewed a bit before smiling.

“Sounds like he won’t give many girls a chance to date him then huh?” He didn’t really care but he’d humor her.

“That’s because I don’t date girls.”

Sei nearly leapt out of his seat at the voice, turning around he gasped in shock at the one face he never thought he’d see again. ”K-Kai?”

“In the flesh baby did you miss me?” he flashed him a smile that clearly said he was there for one reason and one reason only.

“Um did you just say you don’t date girls?” Reyna was so confused right now.

“That’s right I only date men…Well to be more accurate I only date Sei.” He bent over till his face was nearly touching Sei’s.

“Wh-What? You mean Sei has dated g-g-guys before?!?” She looked from Sei to Kai and back again. “But wouldn’t that make you g-gay?”

Sei looked from Kai to Reyna unsure of what to say. “Uh well um…”

“The truth hurts honey but you might as well give up no him cause baby he is all mine.” Smiling he hauled Sei up and crushed his lips over his in a bruising kiss of long suppressed passion.

Sei closed his eyes as he melted into the kiss of his former lover, he nearly forgot where they until Kai was ripped away from him, opening his eyes he saw a fuming Himoto. “Uh Himoto?” Sei could see Himoto was beyond pissed.

Ok not long but meh....

Something is wrong with me.

I've been thinking alot lately and have come to the conclusion that something is wrong with me...I mean I have alot of good friends that care about me but aside from Stef and Kasi I never go out of my way to talk to them....And so I've decided tp post the reasons I think I'm messed up.

1. I am so shallow that I have perfected manipulating ppl into doing what I want.

2. I freak out so bad sometime that I can't breathe and it's gotten to the point to where I'll nearly pass out.

3. I have realized that I am not capable of helping myself but I can give everything in order to save the people I love.

4. My stress level is extremely on unhealthy for my age *note: Told by Doctor.*

5. I love the thought of blood pouring or the images of in my head of people lying on the ground suffering.

6. I have tried cutting myself before.

7. I have had such bad panic attacks that I've locked myself in a bathroom adn didn't come out for nearly an hour.

8. I'm 17 and can't drive because when I get behind the wheel of a car I start to shake so bad I rattle the steering wheel.

9. Though I have had one job I am terrifed to get another one for the fear of working with other people even if I know them.

10. I'll sit and think about my future and get so scared and stressed for no reason at all that I want to cry.

Now maybe these are stupid reasons and of course they aren't all of my reasons but I thought I should get some of them off my chest.

Stressed out much!

Sometimes I can’t stand my fucked up existence
Hating myself for putting up a resistance
Screaming inside as I deal with this hell
Smiling outside when really all I want to do is yell


Facing this shit every damn day
Knowing nothing will ever go my way
Slitting my wrists wouldn’t help at all
Yet no matter what I do no one hears my call


God I just wanna fucking die sometimes
I don’t get why I deserve this when I’ve done no crimes
You people are such fucking assholes
Not able to admit it you’ll pay with yours souls


I laugh manically when I think about how dumb you people are
That you’re all so blind you can’t even see my scars
Even if my blood were to spill you wouldn’t care
You would just think this was one less burden to share


Deny it if you want but I’m not blind to this kind of thing
People like you who could care less about anything
With all your damn logic hiding you from what’s real
Like I give a shit what you pretend to feel


You’re all a bunch of fucking phonies and fakes
The bottomless pit of anger and hate is all it makes
But no worries here for I will go on
Laughing for how much you’ll say you miss me when I’m gone


Your teenager is at high risk for being stressed out. It would be beneficial for him/her to see and discuss this with their pediatrician and find some stress reducing techniques and perhaps some medical help.

Written by Dawn N. Pope

This was written after a very stressful day and represents my true feelings.

I know most people think I am some dumb blonde but ppl get it that I have feelings to and to tell you the truth I am this close to loosing it and doing something I would come to regret.