Something is wrong with me.

I've been thinking alot lately and have come to the conclusion that something is wrong with me...I mean I have alot of good friends that care about me but aside from Stef and Kasi I never go out of my way to talk to them....And so I've decided tp post the reasons I think I'm messed up.

1. I am so shallow that I have perfected manipulating ppl into doing what I want.

2. I freak out so bad sometime that I can't breathe and it's gotten to the point to where I'll nearly pass out.

3. I have realized that I am not capable of helping myself but I can give everything in order to save the people I love.

4. My stress level is extremely on unhealthy for my age *note: Told by Doctor.*

5. I love the thought of blood pouring or the images of in my head of people lying on the ground suffering.

6. I have tried cutting myself before.

7. I have had such bad panic attacks that I've locked myself in a bathroom adn didn't come out for nearly an hour.

8. I'm 17 and can't drive because when I get behind the wheel of a car I start to shake so bad I rattle the steering wheel.

9. Though I have had one job I am terrifed to get another one for the fear of working with other people even if I know them.

10. I'll sit and think about my future and get so scared and stressed for no reason at all that I want to cry.

Now maybe these are stupid reasons and of course they aren't all of my reasons but I thought I should get some of them off my chest.